5 / So, when are you free?
On becoming social IRL again.
I’ll Start on Monday is a free, weekly newsletter that lands in your inbox every, you guessed it, Monday. We explore creativity and curiosity, plus you get access to resources for your own mini project to work on over seven days! If you like what I do, you can also buy me a coffee to help support my work. It is greatly appreciated. *virtual hugs*
Well, well, well! If it isn’t the girl who took a sneaky week of last week!
I really needed some time out so I do thank you - the fans - for graciously accepting me stepping away for a bit.
Lockdown. Yikes. It really got to me at the end there. I, like most of you, totally supported and fully understood why it was so important and necessary to do so. All you have to do is look at the numbers to know that indeed, lockdown worked. Yet, it doesn’t take away from the fact that it was KINDA GETTING BORING towards the end there. Sure, I’ve piled on the iso weight and don’t even fit into the track pants I bought at the beginning of lockdown 1.0, but I was ready. Ready to see people in real life! I had dreamed up all the catch ups I would have with friends, the places I could finally go to and the routines I would pick back up again.
Yet, when the emails from restaurants started rolling in and my phone lit up with multiple invitations after the news broke that Melbourne was opening back up, I started to feel the cloak of anxiety and despair dusting herself off and comfortably positioning herself right on my back, as if to say “you didn’t think you were going to do this without me, did you?”
I’ve spent most of this year alone and chose to take social distancing really seriously by only seeing the same handful of friends each week for a walk. I’ve forgotten how to socialise with more than one other person, and I am not sure I am ready to appear in a group setting just yet, even though I really want to see my friends. For the first time in a long time, my social anxiety has been pretty steady, but all of a sudden she’s back, and back with a vengeance. (This post made me feel v seen.)
Thoughts that I hadn’t had all year started creeping back into my mind. Does anyone really like me? Am I a good friend? Did I check in with enough people throughout the year?
I mean, what am I going to talk to people about? What have I even achieved this year? How will I go back to work having been unemployed for so long? I haven’t had to justify why I eat tuna and rice everyday for lunch to my work colleagues in so long - am I really ready to do that again? LOL. I mean, it’s never ending!! This is just the tip of the iceberg of anxiety induced questions flowing through my mind.
Somehow the “we are all in this together” catch phrase wore off pretty quickly, even though I know that many of you are feeling the same way I do. 2020 has felt like one big emotional cocktail, so strong that it blurs my judgement. We are all in this together, yet I feel more isolated than I ever have before. How can that be?
So, don’t be afraid to take as much or as little time as you need to adjust to this new normal. This is the time to set new boundaries and start living life at your own pace. It’s a normal response to feel apprehensive and scared. We have been conditioned this year to normalise living in isolation, even though we have experienced bursts of ups and downs along the way.
It’s through challenging times like these that we grow - albeit it feels uncomfortable, but there’s never comfort in growth. We are in this together, so don’t forget to reach out to those around you for love and support as you transition over the coming months.
See you soon.
Maybe.
RESOURCES
Alyssa Ho is a new found obsession of mine (thanks to Clementine Ford) and her recent musings on The Fox Eye Trend have been so in depth and helpful. Alongside anti-racism work, she also writes about love and life. A must follow!
Sick of rich, privileged people winging during COVID? Me too. Check out Clementine’s Influenzas highlights to get educated on why we need to call them out.
This page has helped me feel less alone in my response to lockdown ending.
Loving cooking from this book - highly recommend!
Some great tips here for self soothing practices to support you.
MOMENTS OF JOY
COFFEE IN A CUP
WINE IN A GLASS NOT IN MY HOUSE
THIS T-SHIRT MAKETH ME HAPPY
PROJECT
I AM SORRY BUT THERE IS NO PROJECT THIS WEEK
